“So, how’s motherhood?”

This is the question from an old friend of mine whom I recently added into my Facebook. My short answer to her is “Great!” Honestly, I’m still enjoying motherhood amid all the stress and challenges.

Now, when I think over it again…

The first six months with Little Edison is the most exhausting, confusing and stressful part of my life.

The first 3 months (I’m still on maternity leave) was awful! I didn’t have a helper after my confinement. I had to struggle with a fussy baby that demands feeding every 2-3 hours. My breastfeeding journey was horrible, that I resigned from being a ‘milk cow’ after one month. One day, I was a great success. The next day, I was in a great mess. Life was unpredictable back then!

The next 3 months was slightly better after I returned to workforce. Juggling between two demanding jobs (one paid + one unpaid) was the biggest challenge to me. Making decisions are like daily tug-of-war. Sleep deprived and feeling trapped by motherhood affect my mood badly.

Sending Edison to infant care was my worst decision ever! The center turned out to be a disaster. I constantly worried about him not being fed on-time; disturbed sleep from other crying babies; lack of attention from the teachers; being bullied by other tots; HFMD outbreak… the list goes on…

I bid farewell to all these nonsense. I employed a helper to take care of Edison. In safe hands of his grandparents and my helper’s one-to-one care, Little Edison is now a HAPPY boy. He is the prince at home!

And now, 1.5 years later, my life is so much better. With great support from my in-laws, domestic helper and a wonderful proxy arrangement, I can focus on my work. Whenever I have a down day at work, Little Edison’s smiles and giggles instantly wipe the frown off my face.

Every night, I take a good look at my boy – his cheeky smile, smooth hands, peachy skin and not to mention how much he has grown. When he calls ‘mama’, I could burst out in tears. There is a very intense bond between us.

In short, motherhood can feel like a constant hard work. But it is also the most rewarding. Ultimately, the peaks still outweigh the plunges. All mothers deserve to be proud of themselves.

I am a proud mama!


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