About Edison/ Parenting

Heartbroken

Heartbroken is the best word to describe how I felt this morning when I send Little Edison to school. I’ve expected that he will cry the moment he stepped into his classroom after the long weekend.

Last night, I asked him if he wants to go to school on Monday morning. Instead of “don’t want”, he replied me with a “no need”. I was surprised. I think he wants to tell me that he can stay at home, rather than going to school.

As I woke him up this morning, I didn’t mention the word “school” or “cry”. My helper fed him and cleaned him. The moment he saw my helper taking his uniform from the wardrobe, he started to wail and said “Mummy, don’t want!” My poor boy, being away from home must have been a terrifying experience for him.

I assured him that he will be alright at school. I carried him to my car and I drove off to school.

When we reached his classroom, he clung onto my body tightly, refused to let go and cried desperately. His teacher, Ms Wong, quickly carried him away from me. I had to leave the classroom immediately. It was a terrible heartbreaking moment for both of us, but I knew I had to leave; otherwise it will be even worst for him.

I took a peek at the corner of the window. Ms Wong was pacifying him and he stopped crying after 3 minutes or so. Then, he walked around the classroom, carrying his water bottle, looking sad and lost. I nearly burst out in tears when I saw it. When all the students are settled down, the teacher will start the activities and he will be fine, I consoled myself.

I drove to my office with my mind full of uncertainties. I wasn’t sure if I’ve made the right decision to send him to school at this age. I wasn’t sure if he can take care of himself at school. I totally forgot about the Bartley-Tampines viaduct that was opened yesterday. I drove into the wrong lane and I nearly went up the viaduct all the way to Tampines! Luckily, I managed to change lane at the last minute. Gosh, it’s very bad to drive with poor concentration.

Argh, anyway. I’m waiting patiently for the day when he tells me that he enjoys going to school. This day will definitely come soon.

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    peapod
    January 18, 2010 at 3:20 PM

    Halos! Same here 🙁 Caelen would cry the moment he saw his school uniform. This morning he cried till he vomitted 🙁 These few nights, he would also cry in his sleep “mummy, come back!” Really heartpain.

    • Reply
      Emily
      January 18, 2010 at 3:30 PM

      Hi Peapod,
      Oh dear… poor Caelen… I hope both of them will adapt to new school very very soon…. I think this is the first time Caelen is away from home, right? All these while, he is taken care of by your MIL. Same like Edison.

  • Reply
    Sin Yee
    January 18, 2010 at 7:26 PM

    Hang in there and it will be over before u know it!

  • Reply
    Poohwei
    January 18, 2010 at 8:49 PM

    Hi Emily,

    En En still clings on to us even though she has been going to the childcare for more than 6 months. Sometimes, i do pause and think that we are quite heartless..but that is where they learn to be independent!!

    Hold on…they will soon be able to adapt. Cheers.

  • Reply
    Godpa Kenneth
    January 18, 2010 at 11:33 PM

    Hello Da Sao

    Its very painful to read this.

    I can understand how you feel when you took the peek from the window panes this AM.

    Kids are highly adaptive. Sometimes, there will be decisions we have to make. Very often, right decisions would be hard to execute.

    We must continue to assure ourselves that Little Edison is very well taken care of in the nursery. In his learning ground.

    I think your decision is good. I support your wise move to allow Little Edision to gain some detachments from the family and learn the path of independence.

    It’s never easy. But, we’ve just got to “start” somewhere.

    And, I feel that this is the right time.

    Never doubt yourself. Cause we all know its all for the good of our dearest ones

    • Reply
      Emily
      January 19, 2010 at 9:07 AM

      Hello everyone,
      Thanks for your comforting comments, I really appreciate it. I spoke to the teacher this morning. She told me he cried for a while, and then stopped. After a while, he started mixing around with his classmates. She saw good improvement yesterday. I’m so relieved to hear that.

      This morning, he cried again when I hand him over to his teacher. I observed him for about 5 mins through the window (he is not aware of my presence). He stopped crying within 1 min! It’s amazing. He roamed around the class himself, trying to figure out what interest him and what he can play with. When we are on the way to school, I keep talking to him about all the fun stuff he can do and learn at school. He just listen and nod his head. I hope he will understand my intention of sending him to school and he will enjoy his daily 3-hours at school.

  • Reply
    nate's mummy
    January 19, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    hey emily, i can totally relate to what you are going through.
    nate is also the same (or maybe worse off cos he takes a longer time to settle down). i think we just have to bite the bullet and go through this stage.

    Press on!

    • Reply
      Emily
      January 19, 2010 at 4:20 PM

      Hi Wen Hui,
      Yes, we have to be determined and let go. Keep the faith, they will adapt to school real soon. 😉 Nate also started pre-nursery this year?

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