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13
Aug
I’m contemplating whether I should transfer my helper back to my agent and get a replacement. Her performance is deteriorating recently. And it worsens every time she gets a scolding from Daddy V.
No doubt Daddy V is a demanding employer. I talked to him countless times not to be too demanding with the helper but unfortunately, I can’t change him. On the other hand, Pin (our helper) is a slow worker, tends to be forgetful and very emotional. Whenever Daddy V barks at her, she will cry and show her sulky black face all day.
They really drove me up the wall! To be honest, I’ve been very patient with her. I told myself, as long as she takes good care of Little Edison, I should be able to tolerate her slowness. It’s very destructive to change the helper now because it is tedious to get a three-year-old to accept a new helper. And ultimately, there is no perfect maid in the world.
When our previous helper, Niti, left half a year ago, I really had a hard time trying to get Little Edison to accept Pin. If I were to change the helper, I have to go through the ordeal again. It’s such a nightmare!
Last night, when I was in the shower, Little Edison sank his teeth into her hand. I didn’t witness the incident as I was in the bathroom, but I can see the visible teeth marks on her hand. I quizzed him on the incident. He looked down all apologetic and remorseful with big wet eyes. I warned him not to repeat his mistake again or he will be punished. He cried, feeling sad and went to bed.
Pin was unhappy with the incident. When Daddy V got home, he barked at her for some considerably small mistakes that she made. She was even more upset and she cried.
This morning, she was in her usual listless look again. When I asked her to feed Little Edison, she pretended to do it. Fifteen minutes later, she told me that he didn’t want to drink his milk. I knew that she purposely delayed it so that I will take over her job.
At this point, I declare that I couldn’t tolerate with her nonsense anymore. I will give her one last chance. If her performance still doesn’t improve by end of this month, or continue to deteriorate, I will certainly send her back to my agent! It is non-negotiable. Full stop.
- Published by Emily in: Maid Issues
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21 Responses to “Maid Woes”
maid lighten our house chores but also give us headaches.. just this morning, i nag at my maid again cos she never clean my girl’s toothbrush properly, the toothpaste still on the brush.. when ask her she will say wash already, ask her if wash why still have toothpaste.. she said “i don;t know” 100 questions to her, 99 answer will be “i don’t know”.. but without them we have to do a lot of housework..so slight thing i just let it be.. no point get myself angry over it..else i just nag at her again and again.. scold her sometimes but make me feel bad.. hope u settle ur maid issues soon.
Hi Mico,
Thanks. I hope to resolve it soon too. “I don’t know” is the safest answer. I think most of the maids know that too, including my blur maid.
that’s the headache of having a maid. You can ask them to do alot of things but ultimately they may not meet yr expectations. Maybe you can try to change frm Indonesian maid to maid from Nepal. Im not too sure about the quality of maid frm Nepal but ever heard frm ppl that they are hardworking. Or you may want to have a Filipino maid. No doubt they are way smarter and better than Indonesian maid. This is what I observed when I was young when we have maid at home.
Just a joke to share. Recently my mum told me her friend employed a vietnamese maid. This maid complained to agent that she worked OT everyday. ***FAINT*** Are there OT for domestic helper. I felt so funny when I heard this.
Hi Huey Ling,
Filipino maid is definitely off my list. They usually demand off-days and mobile phones which are strictly NO to me. It’s quite difficult to manage them also. Other nationalities like Nepal, Myanmar or Vietnam, we will run into communication problem. I still think that Indonesian maid is the most suitable, although they may not be as smart as the Filipinos.
Yesterday morning, the helper slept in. Our old master found out when he was going to the toilet. He knocked on her door to wake her up. She was unhappy. When old master barked at her, she told him that he can send her back to the agency if he is not happy with her. Woar!
I had another counseling session with her in the afternoon when the Old Master went out. I told her not to repeat her words of “sending me back” UNLESS she really wants to quit. Otherwise, the Old Master will really send her back! She had to pay the agent another 3 months’ salary to transfer to another employer. It’s her loss, not ours. We have two free replacements, so we don’t have to pay anything if we want to transfer her.
Anyway, I’ll monitor for another two weeks. Hopefully, she will prove to me that she can do the job. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to send her back to the agent.
Is she fasting this month, thus not having enough energy to work in the day?
Hi Joy,
No, we don’t allow her to fast. It’s also written in her work contract. Whether she is full or hungry, she always looks like not enough energy. Sigh.
HI Emily,
I have had 3 helpers…The 1st one an Indonesia is extremely smart and can speak English, Bahasan, Mandarin, Hokkien and Cantonese…but she is too smart for her own good and I had to send her off. 2nd helper was terrible who cannot follow instructions. My 3rd helper is direct from Philipines (1st 2 helpers are transfer maid). She is smart, hardworking, cooks well and very good with my daughter. However, it took her 8 moths to “settle in’ as in we understand each other and very little/no friction. Thus, give yourself more time to observe your helper. However, do follow your heart. If you feel that she is not the right one, change her.
Hi Shannon,
Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I agree that it takes time for the foreign maid to ‘blend in’ with our family. Due to difference in cultural background and religion, it’s not easy to accept each other too. I will allow more time to observe her and make a careful decision.
Emily, your stories sound exactly like mine! i had recently just sent back the second Vietnamese maid.
The first one was also Vietnamese, but is too old to work and is always sleeping in her room. The second one is a Vietnamese which worked in Taiwan before. At first she appeared to be very good, so good that i thought that i am so lucky. She speaks a little bit of chinese and know the basic chores so i do not have to train her much. Good days lasted for 2 weeks. Things changed 180 degrees when my Mum and Sis came staying also in my house since a week ago. Since then, she changed totally, rejecting jobs, telling lies one after another, playing emotional games with me, trying to stir the relationship between my mum and myself, and complain about my mum infront of me, Cries whenever u sounded her and pulling a long face after, “sick” everytime she refuses to work and what really pissed me off is when she started to shout at me! I sounded her, again she cried and then came to me in tears saying that she wants to go back. I said YES straight away as she had caused enough stressed to me, and i am 37 weeks pregnant now. She got taken aback as she must be thinking that i would try to calm her down… an hour later she was begging me to not sending her back. Enough of drama.. i sent her back this Monday and i would not want to see her face anymore.
I am going to invterview few Vienamese maids again tomorrow, but i am now having some phobea on Vietnamese and is thinking if i should opt for Cambodian this time. Really in dillema.. Is there anyone out there that have good comments on Vietnamese maids? I have received none but of coz there aren’t many in Malaysia too i supposed.
Hi Tina,
Thanks for your advise. We r still monitoring her performance, Hubby thinks that she still deserves a second chance. In the first place, if he is not so strict & demanding with her, I think she is still ‘acceptable’.
I don’t have any experience with Vietnamese maids. Can they speak English? I heard many good reviews abt Myanmar maids. Perhaps, you can check them out too. But Cambodian is out for me.
Good luck in your maid-searching!
BTW Emily,
u should send her back. That charector is in her, and she will only get worst.
Hi Tina
I met a Myanmar maid when i brough my girl to palygroud last week, she can speak english(not very fluent of course), her salary is 370 (my maid only 350).. can consider la.. if vietnamese/indon/philipino cant make it for u ?
Hi Emily,
Thanx for sharing. I came across ur blog when I research on babystroller and found your articles very useful and practical as I just had my first son a month ago and will get a maid very soon.
Btw, I am also from ise, but I did it for bachelor from 04-08.
Hi Yiran,
Congrats on your newborn baby boy. All the best in your maid-searching too.
I still miss those ISE days. Although studying part-time then was so stressful, but I really enjoy the learning process at NUS.
I’m new to your blog and read afew of your section. nice to know you… I have phillipino helper with me for 4 years. she has 18 years in singapore to one employer. I have no issue with off days and handphone at all…I allow all this. Now my helper has a laptop to herself (I gave it to her) and she has a facebook account I created for her. Any employee we select, it boils down to their character. I am lucky to know my helper Precy. She is responsible, though at times will still make me annoyed
As a whole, she is still a good worker. Many friends I know have issue with domestic helper and its my first helper and no problem at all. I am glad I am really lucky.
please don’t be mistaken, not here to boast how good my helper is but share with you there’s still good helper around. I have a neighbour helper is good, and my friend helper Jess is also not bad and they are from Phillipines too.
Hi Pauline,
I agree that there are still good helpers around. It also boils down to how we manage them. Good helpers may potentially turn bad too. I’m sure you’re a very good boss, that’s why you’re blessed with a good helper.
Hi there
I read above re: a Myanmar maid in malaysia. I am Australian/SG PR but working here in malaysia. I called the immigration dept today and they said No myanmar maids are allowed to work here – but I am getting conflicting information about this on the net. Can anyone help. I had a Myanmar maid in SG and she was amazing and would like to bring here over here on a malaysia WP.
Thanks Mei
Hi Mei,
I’m sorry, I’m not aware of the domestic helper application process in Msia. So far, I’ve only seen Indon and Filipina maids in Msia. I’m really not sure abt Myanmar.
Beware of VN maids. I had one for 4 months. Started out great- very hard working.
Biggest complaint : her feet ALWAYS dirty from going outside without shoes- often tempermental and stubborn. Finally sent her back after I found her not really washing kitchen pots ,,just wiping them off and putting them back in the cabinet. Englsh limited.
Hi Emily, Tina, Richard,
It was nice to read this blog regarding the maid issue. I’m frm M’sia. I haven’t employed any full time maid even when I have my baby who is now 4 years old. We always have part-time maids. We have 3 Filipino maids who worked for us around 6 hours per day, are good. Few of them we still keep in touch.
Last year I was thinking to have a full time stay-in maid, which take us a huge step as we preferred privacy, never thinking to have a stay-in plus I’m not working. lately I was planned return back to work, therefore, thinking about hiring a Full time maid. We had an interview with a Filipino maid in December 2011, January 2012 the maid arrived, but I have to rejected her due to her high demanding. Then we decided to have a Vietnamese maid with Mandarin speaking. The agent said due to the CNY period, it is a bit hard to find the Vietnamese maid fitting in my requirement, under 40 and mandarin speaking. a week before CNY, the agent contact me for viewing biodata, I selected a maid who worked in Taiwan for 4 years and can speak mandarin. Which I haven’t make any booking deposit as the agent said no need to give any upfront till the visa approval. the Quotation from the Agent:
Agency fees:
USD$1100 for experience maid who worked abroad
USD$900 for experienced maid who worked in Vietname
Maid’s salary per month:
RM900 for experience maid who worked abroad (Dec’ 2011 quote)
RM1000 for experience maid who worked abroad (Jan’2012 quote)
RM1,100 for experience maid who worked abroad (Feb’ 2012 call and informed)
Malaysia visa:
Agency fees RM2,500 to RM3K
no maid’s salary advance.
A week later, the local agent contacted me asked am I still interested in hiring the Vietnamese maid due to high demand in Malaysia at the moment. Yesterday both Vietnam agency and local agent contacted me told me that the maid that I chosen her passport and docs held by the headman, some other KL agency has offered her RM1,100 per month, the agents asked whether can I matched the salary, I immediately rejected, coz what we promised on the quotation is what they will get. pay rise depends on performance. Vietnamese maid in Malaysia is 3 years contract. They trying to giving me another placement which the maid’s age is between 40 to 43 years old. Which I don’t think they fit to look after my active child. That’s why I requested a under 38 years old maid.
I spoke to several frenz with my case of hiring Vietnamese maid, they all concerned its a con job between the agent and Vietnamese maid agency.
After discussed with my husband whether we wanted to continue seeking for a stay-in maid or juz hiring those stay-out maid that we pretty happy. Conclusion we decided to hiring those stay-out maid. Our household only me, husband and my 4 years old monsta who already in Preschool, her activities till 5pm, my house isn’t that big average housework chores can completed around 4-6 hours. hardly need babysitting as she is pretty independent.
After reading the above, I feels so pleased I didn’t hire any stay-in maid even the Vietnamese maid that I chosen and agent couldn’t provided. I have enough looking after my own child, don’t think I have time to ‘entertain’ other people child who is above 18 years old too. No money lost out.
Hi Mei – yes, according to the Malaysia immigration dept – Myanmar maid only allowed to working in the Restaurant.
Dear LING,
Thanks for sharing with us. I appreciate your time for typing this long post. It’s indeed so expensive to hire a maid in Malaysia. Price in Singapore is fast catching up too.
Glad that you’ve found the best solution for your family. I agree that stay-out maid is better for small-sized family like us. We enjoy our privacy and don’t have to worry about maid’s problems.
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