I believe marriage – like life – is defined as much by the problems that have to be overcome together, as a husband and wife.

I’m old enough to know that marriage is not always a bed of roses. In every relationship, there are ups and downs. It is not always perfect and conflict-free.

And LOVE is about confronting these issues and overcoming them without hurting the other party. This is possibly one of the things that are hard to achieve, and it’s my weakness too.

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My husband and I had numerous fights and arguments too – some of them were dramatic and serious. Just last week, we had a huge fight. We were screaming at each other so loudly and we were in a car along the expressway. Little Edison and our helper were seated in the rear, they were so worried but they didn’t dare to say a word. I was so angry that I ignored him for the whole day.

But no matter how hard we fight, we will eventually forgive and forget. We will always move on. Love is about forgiveness, because when we really love someone, we have to forgive them and be patient with their mistakes. And that’s the greatest power of LOVE.

When I think about it again, I can’t even remember why we had such a big fight. It could be possibly due to my impatience and his bad-temperedness – these two elements is a bad combination and the ‘evil’ in our relationship.

Whenever I’m angry with him, I will also remember him as the man, who would boil bitter guard soup for me when I’m sick, give me support and stand by me when I’m down, drive my car to the petrol station when I’m busy, tell me silly jokes when I’m sad and protect me when I was bullied.

I constantly remind myself that I’m blessed to have such a wonderful husband. And automatically, my anger will disappear. It’s magical.

LOVE is a long journey. LOVE is a lot of hard works too.

I saw this comment from my friend, Florence, in Facebook and it makes me think about my marriage.

Quoted from Florence, “A marriage is like a car, it needs maintenance and servicing for the car to last! Just that you can’t change partners every 3 years.” The last sentence is pretty amusing.

Anyway, what Florence said is so true. Marriage life is often dominated by the daily grind and hustle and bustle of work, financial issues, children and household chores. The romance seems to have lost somewhere in the hectic pace. How can we keep our marriage healthy, happy and still have some sparks flying around?

I’ve been married to V for four years now. We’re still full of happiness. We have our delicious home-cooked food, mini projects at home, holiday plans, savings plans, daily rants as well as laughter, strong support for each other and random jokes from V. I can still describe my marriage life as happy and healthy, although there aren’t much sparks as compared to our younger days.

In general, V and I are very different in terms of temperaments and personalities. We’re not always aligned too. We do argue when there is a difference in opinion, but we don’t fight. We remain silent and stop talking to each other for a while after every argument. But eventually, one or both of us will give in and make up. Most importantly, we forgive and we forget.

I guess marriage life with young children can be enjoyable and satisfying too, as long as we can find ways to connect to each other on a regular basis. Do you agree?

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When I saw this TV commercial from ThinkFamily.sg, I was deeply touched. I watched it over and over again last night, and I almost wanted to cry. I was thinking, “Who could have produced such a meaningful and touching ad?”

It shows a woman giving a eulogy at her late husband’s funeral. She shared her font memories of her husband in a very unique way; it’s about how her husband snores and break wind in the morning. For a start, it is pretty amusing.

But deep inside her message is how these little imperfections make him a perfect husband (to her) and the memories of him will live on forever. She hopes that her children will find a life partner in future, who will be as beautifully imperfect as their father.

Well, is there such a thing as a perfect husband? Some would dare to say yes. My short answer is NO. The perfection in marriage is to allow and accept the imperfections in our spouse. If we can do this, we are pretty close to being a perfect spouse.

I have friends who are married and they always have something to complain about their spouse. I do too, don’t get me wrong. But none of my husband’s annoying quirks keep me up at night thinking, “Do I really want to be nagging him for the rest of my life?” The truth is, yes! I want to spend the rest of my life nagging him rather than not having him around at all. I may sound like a naggy and irritating wife, but my point is a person’s flaws can become rather endearing after a while.

Look at me for example. I am impatient. I can’t cook. I am a clean-freak. I am blunt. I am quiet. I had these flaws when I married, and I still have them today. My husband knows about my shortcomings, but he never attempt to change me. My husband, on the other hand, has a short temper, likes loud music and quite untidy at times. He can spend the whole night talking too.

A clean freak wife + an untidy husband = first disaster!

A quiet wife + a talkative husband = second disaster!

The list goes on.

Seriously, with all these imperfections, how do we have a perfect marriage? Instead of focusing on each other’s shortcomings, we acknowledge them and move on with a set of rules and understandings. We accepted them in the name of our marriage commitment with no intentions of breaking.

This is the foundation of our marriage – something that we built for years with love, respect, happiness, fun and too many beautiful moments to count on.

To my beautifully imperfect husband, I love you, always and forever!

This TV commercial is available in YouTube and ThinkFamily.sg website. Take a little time to watch it if you haven’t.