As the old saying goes “This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.” I never felt the significance of it until I became a mother.

Countless times, I have to give my son a stern NO, scold him, punish him, or some other form of discipline, just to teach him a valuable life lesson or to protect him in some ways. It always hurt me thousand times more than it did for him.

During my growing up, I never realized that whenever I was upset with my mother, she would be equally upset too. I thought that a mother is supposed to love their children, protect them and bring them happiness. Until I have Little Edison, I started to realize that by protecting him; sometimes I may have to hurt him in some ways.

I strive to shield him from any pain and unhappiness. I pray for God to protect him and bless him with good health. I pray for God to give me the strength and wisdom to raise him to be a kind, compassionate and responsible adult.

A mother’s love is the most complete and satisfying love on earth.

A mother’s love is eternal.

A mother’s love in unconditional.

I thank God for allowing me to be a mother to Little Edison.

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Have you heard of Kidzgrow? I stumbled across this interesting website when I was reading Singapore’s Child magazine last weekend.

This website is created by a group of child development professionals and specialists through a grant from MCYS. Their aim is to support parents and help children to learn and perform to their best.

There are useful articles about child development, nutrition, growth charts, baby care and parenting tips that we can access free-of-charge. The core of this website is the Kidzgrow Online – an innovative program that empowers and equips parents in their involvement in the development of their children between 0 to 6 years of age. By using it, we can keep track of our child’s development and learn the various activities appropriate to our child that are laid out in five developmental domains of cognitive, language, fine motor, gross-motor and socio-emotional.

In order to access Kidzgrow Online, we have to register as a member and pay a reasonable membership fee that varies with the choice of our access period – from 6 months to 72 months. Click HERE for more information on the membership fee.

The range of activities is specially designed for children from two to 72 months. It covers from newborn to the early formative years of a preschooler’s life. Parents can complement at home with what is being taught at school at their own convenience. The activities also promote interaction and bonding between the parent and the child.

If you are interested and wish to try out the program, this is a good news for you. You can test drive Kidzgrow Online using a test account created for a 6-month old baby. It has limited access to the developmental modules for newborn babies between 4 and 9 months. Click HERE to access the test drive account.

Let’s check out this cool parenting website and see what it can do for you.

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One thing that I hate about parenting is disciplining a toddler. He can be quite a tough nut to crack because at this age, he starts to become more independent and yet he has a limited ability to communicate and to reason.

Mommies, how do you deal with a toddler who wails every time you ignore his request, and often replies you with a “no” whenever you try to feed or bathe him? The worst scenarios can be throwing a temper tantrum on the floor and in the public. Challenging, isn’t it?

Personally, I don’t believe in the spanking or caning a toddler. He is unlikely to be able to make a connection between his behavior and the physical punishment that he gets.

I read a few parenting books and they strongly suggest the timeout method. A toddler who has been hitting, biting or throwing food, for example, should be told why the behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — for a minute or two to calm down. I’m not sure if this will work for Little Edison, but I’ll definitely try it out.

The art of distraction used to work well for me. Making use of his short attention span, if he is into something he’s not supposed to do, I’ll redirect him by offering him a substitute. But recently, Little Edison has become more persistent and the art of distraction doesn’t work anymore.

If he still refuses to listen and continue to wail, I choose to ignore him. This is what happened exactly two weeks ago – Little Edison refused to have his meal and he just want to suck on his pacifier. When I took away his pacifier, he cried non-stop. I ignored him and continued with my work. Believe me, it was very heart-wrenching to hear him crying but I was very determined not to give in to him.

I want him to understand that a “no” can never be changed to a “yes” no matter how long he cries. After half an hour, he stopped crying and started to take his meal.

The incident makes me realize that we have to be firm and consistent. Certain things in our toddler’s life are non-negotiable. They have to eat, sleep, take a bath and listen to their parents. Hitting and biting are never allowed. On the flip side, there are issues that may not worth a fight.

We, as a parent, will decide on the rules and limit.

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Heartbroken is the best word to describe how I felt this morning when I send Little Edison to school. I’ve expected that he will cry the moment he stepped into his classroom after the long weekend.

Last night, I asked him if he wants to go to school on Monday morning. Instead of “don’t want”, he replied me with a “no need”. I was surprised. I think he wants to tell me that he can stay at home, rather than going to school.

As I woke him up this morning, I didn’t mention the word “school” or “cry”. My helper fed him and cleaned him. The moment he saw my helper taking his uniform from the wardrobe, he started to wail and said “Mummy, don’t want!” My poor boy, being away from home must have been a terrifying experience for him.

I assured him that he will be alright at school. I carried him to my car and I drove off to school.

When we reached his classroom, he clung onto my body tightly, refused to let go and cried desperately. His teacher, Ms Wong, quickly carried him away from me. I had to leave the classroom immediately. It was a terrible heartbreaking moment for both of us, but I knew I had to leave; otherwise it will be even worst for him.

I took a peek at the corner of the window. Ms Wong was pacifying him and he stopped crying after 3 minutes or so. Then, he walked around the classroom, carrying his water bottle, looking sad and lost. I nearly burst out in tears when I saw it. When all the students are settled down, the teacher will start the activities and he will be fine, I consoled myself.

I drove to my office with my mind full of uncertainties. I wasn’t sure if I’ve made the right decision to send him to school at this age. I wasn’t sure if he can take care of himself at school. I totally forgot about the Bartley-Tampines viaduct that was opened yesterday. I drove into the wrong lane and I nearly went up the viaduct all the way to Tampines! Luckily, I managed to change lane at the last minute. Gosh, it’s very bad to drive with poor concentration.

Argh, anyway. I’m waiting patiently for the day when he tells me that he enjoys going to school. This day will definitely come soon.

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It wasn’t smooth-sailing. From the second day onwards, parents are not allowed to be in the classroom. We reached the school five minutes before the class starts. I saw some children crying and nervously clinging on to their parents. My heart skipped a beat, I wasn’t sure if Little Edison will be affected. Whatever it is, I had to walk out of the classroom at 8:15am.

The next half an hour was noisy and chaotic, as if the school was having a crying competition. The children were crying and yelling like nobody’s business. I heard “Mommy, I want to go home!”, “I want to find mommy!” etc. Feeling uneasy, I took a peep at Little Edison from the corner of the window. He was playing with blocks on his own. I was relieved.

One hour passed, I decided to leave the school as I need to visit my doctor. I was down with slight fever and irritative cough. Once again, I peeped at him and I saw him sitting on his chair and having his breakfast. He ate his bread on his own, and he drank water from his bottle. At that instance, I was emotional; I tried very hard to fight back my tears.

I left the school to see my doctor.

I returned to school at 10:45am and the school has been dismissed. Little Edison walked out of his classroom with teary red eyes. My heart stood still and I felt an awful guilt. What happened to him? I felt so bad to put him through this at a tender age of two.

I immediately gave him a big warm hug and carried him to the car park. Apparently, he was sleepy and he wanted to go home for nap. When he couldn’t do so, he started sobbing in the class.

Both of us had just taken a very big step today and I know that this is just one of the many of them. I tell myself, from now till he is 18, he will be at school. This is his new life and a new beginning for us.

Hope for the best tomorrow.

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