In a shopping mall, a glamorous mother walks around, impeccably dressed, every strand of her hair is in place, every crease in her dress is perfectly aligned, with full make-up, lipstick, high heels, branded bag and so on. Walking behind her is a huffing and puffing maid struggling to push the stroller while carrying a diaper bag as well as shopping bags.
Oh well, this is a common sight in Singapore. There is no right or wrong with that.
Working mothers nowadays are so lucky to have a live-in maid who does all the daily chores including general housekeeping, cooking and taking care of children for them. Meanwhile, they only focus on important tasks such as character shaping, manners, education, enrichment etc. Even a stay-at-home mother would employ a maid to help her out and lessen her burden.
Without knowing it, we may become reliant on them. Our child may even develop a special bonding with our maid. Most of the maids that I see nowadays are more experienced, smarter and neater. In some of the extreme cases, they can even fit into a mother’s shoes. This situation really troubles me, and I’m doing my best to avoid it.
On the weekdays, I’ll wake up half an hour earlier so that I have time to feed Edison before I set off to work. Dinner time is when I enjoy my meal with my husband and parents-in-law. My maid will feed Edison in the garden while we dine in the dining area. At night, I’ll play with him for a while, and then we proceed with our reading and flashcards practice before we crash into bed (together).
During the weekends, I’ll do all the motherhood tasks by myself – including bathing, feeding, cooking a meal for Edison, cleaning his poo, keeping his toys etc. My maid can concentrate in doing housekeeping and laundries. My reason is simple – I don’t want to slip into laziness and overly dependant on my maid to take care of Edison.
When we go out, 80% of the time, we will bring our maid along. Of course, it’s easier to have an extra pair of hands to carry the diaper bag or pushing the stroller. Sometimes, we prefer to leave her at home so that we can have some private family times together. It maybe tiring and frustrating at times (without a maid), but we are willing to experience the joys and pains of parenting.
Mother-maid-child is a very unique relationship that we must always handle with great care.
Mommies, what are your thoughts on this mother-maid-child relationship? Do you have any experience that you want to share?