6 Ways to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

I love my mom, but there is one thing that I used to hate about her when I was a kid. She yelled too often, it was very annoying and I seriously couldn’t stand it. I told myself that as soon as I’m financially-independent, I would move out of the house. And I really did!

Okay seriously, I moved out because I went to study in a university, but not to avoid her yelling. My mom is 59 years old now, and of course, she doesn’t yell anymore. But as a mom now, I can really understand where the yelling comes from. A lot of times, it’s hard to keep our cool (although it’s not impossible to do so!).

In my parenting journey, one of my biggest battles was YELLING too. It didn’t have to be something major to set me off, but in fact, it felt quite good to yell sometimes (I feel ashamed to admit this). I began to feel like yelling is the only way to get my message across effectively. Whenever I shout, I felt that I regained control of the situation.

But when the moment passed by, I saw my ugly self. I saw ‘this person’ spewing angry words on the person that I love most in this world. I began to feel how much I hated it when my mom yelled at me, and how my son would hate me too. I regretted it.

It scares me whenever I think about that. Shouting is my biggest failure as a parent. I don’t want my son to remember me as a parent who shouted all the time (just the same way I feel for my mom).  Sorry, mom.

So, I vowed to change that, and I’m glad I did.

In this post, I’ll share with you six ways to stop, or at least avoid, yelling at your kids.

1. It’s often easier to stop something before it begins. So, find out what usually triggers your yelling. If you can identify those things, then you can work out ways to either let them go or deal with them better.

2. Take your time. Realize that you don’t need to react immediately in most circumstances (unless your kid is in danger!). When you give yourself time to think and decide on your next course of action, you’ll unlikely end up yelling.

3. Learn to lower your stress level. Trying to do so many tasks by yourself will cause too much stress. Just be there with your kids, and they will less likely to misbehave and trigger your yelling.

4. When you’re on the verge of yelling, just take a deep breath and walk away. It’s simple and yet I find it most effective. It’s okay to walk away, calm down and think things through. Perhaps it’s not a big deal after all. After you regain your composure, you’ll tackle the problem without an itch to yell.

5. Manage your wants and expectations. It’s important for us, parents, to know and understand our child’s capabilities – because this can help us to become more patient. Understanding equals patience. When we’re able to accept our kids as they are, we’ll love them as they are. We’ll then realize that the root cause of the problem simply lies with how we react.

6. Learn to let go and when to laugh it off. Along with understanding, learn to loosen up is equally important too. Do something that makes everyone laugh can really change the tone of the situation. It’s hard to stay angry when you’re being funny. It’s hard to yell when you’re busy telling a joke. Being funny is enough to remind myself to be the parent I want to be.

Sometimes, yelling or raising your voice isn’t all bad. When we need to raise our voice to keep them safe, such as when they’re running recklessly across the street, we just need to do it. Using a raised voice in this instance will prove more effective if yelling isn’t the daily disciplinary action for everything.

Remember this – if yelling is over-used, it will be ignored. Kids simply tune it (you) out. In addition, kids model our behaviour. Yelling at our kids also breeds a pattern of yelling at their own kids in the future.

If you have any wonderful tips to stop yelling at kids, I’d love to hear from you too. Drop me a comment here. And if you feel someone might benefit from this post, feel free to share it on your social media.

I end this post with a very interesting quote here. Have a nice week ahead!

“If it isn’t life threatening, if the house is not ablaze, if it is not an emergency, or if the child you are yelling to is not half a mile away, then yelling is the wrong choice in parenting.”  Anonymous

Encourage Our Children to Eat Fruits

Fruits

Among all the motherhood challenges I’ve experienced while raising my son, the toughest one has to be dealing with his fussy eating behaviour. Obviously, it takes a lot of patience but unfortunately, it’s also something that I’m seriously lack of.

As a matter of fact, introducing and re-introducing fruits has become an interesting game in my household. Like it or not, I’ve to keep trying because our boy is very prone to constipation. A lot of times, he’ll just take a quick glance at the fruits and goes “I don’t like to eat that!” without even trying.

So, I set the “You have to try it” rule. He must at least take a bite and try it before saying NO. It helps to a certain extent – at least he knows the taste of it, and not rejecting it purely based on its appearance. Most importantly, he gives it a try.

Two years ago when Edison was three, he ate only three types of fruits – oranges, strawberries and grapes. Now that he is five, he eats almost all types of fruits, except certain exotic fruits like mangosteens and durians.

Two years of hard works and experiments have finally paid-off! Today, I’ve narrowed down five useful tips that I’ve learnt to encourage our children to eat fruits:

1. Bring them along for supermarket shopping

When you bring your kids to the supermarket, show them the various types of fruits and how to select the ripe and fresh ones. Usually, I’ll also ask him what he wants to eat before buying them. It gives him some ‘ownership’ and he’ll likely to eat them.

2. Be a role model

If you’re eating a wide range of fruits — and enjoying them — your child may want to taste them as well. With the same logic, if you aren’t eating junk food or keeping them at home, your kids won’t be eating junk food at home either. So, it’s important to be a role model for our children.

3. Present the fruits nicely

Cut the fruits into small bite-size and arrange it nicely on an attractive plate. A beautiful fruits presentation is important to attract the fussy eaters. Nonetheless, never force your child to eat or use food as a form of punishment or reward.

4. Offer them choices but within limits

Too many choices can overwhelm a small child. It’s too open ended to ask, “What would you like for eat?” It may also trigger a mealtime meltdown. Instead, offer them a few choices, such as choosing between an apple, orange or strawberries after their meal.

5. Eat together as a family

Family dining is the perfect time to help our kids develop healthy attitudes towards food and the social aspects of eating with others.

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Does your child dislike fruits? If so, how do you encourage him/her to eat more fruits? I love to hear your tips too; do share if you have any.