When parents get together, the subject invariably turns to stories about their children. They talk about the fun things their kids have done, and I almost hear the same sentiment from every parent that having children is the best decision in their lives.
I’m sure you would agree with me.
But raising children is indeed not an easy process, and it’s not surprising that many young couples today have dropped the idea of having children, at the thought of all the responsibilities, hassles and costs involved.
I have to admit this. When I was in my twenties and still single, I told my friends that I dislike kids. Every moment when I saw bawling kids and frustrated mothers, I told myself that this is not going to happen to me.
But that was the past now.
I got married at the age of 28, and I was pregnant shortly after. It was unplanned, and our romantic twosome life was shortened as compared to what we’ve imagined. But still, during my nine months of pregnancy, we had a lot of times on our hands. We managed to fill up our days with all sorts of activities, and we even went on a vacation in Japan.
After I gave birth to Little Edison, the passion we felt as newlyweds was gradually being replaced by mundane routines of taking care of a baby. The first year was very tough for us, maybe because we didn’t prepared ourselves sufficiently enough.
The second year was a whole lot easier. We got a helper, we made some adjustments in our routines and we learnt from our own mistakes. Then, we found ourselves immersing in the gift of parenthood. It was a wonderful time of witnessing our son’s development milestones and trying new things each day.
Then I began to realize why parents can do everything for their children – their selfless sacrifice, their unconditional love, their undivided attention, and so on.
“In him, I see reflections of myself and my husband.”
As I’m reflecting on my joy of parenting now, I’d like to say that parenthood has bought me into greater appreciation of my son, and how our family life has flown together after his arrival. In him, I see reflections of myself and V, and how our genes have connected and produced such a wonderful human being.
It’s a marvellous process!
After a long day at work, I come home to see my beautiful 6-year-old son, rolling around in the garden with a huge grin plastered on his face. At that instant, my problems at work and my tiredness are gone miraculously. I quickly pick up the toy golf set and have a game with him before the dinner is served.
“Every small change in him as he grows brings me so much joy!”
Every little step that he took and every single word that he learnt brought me so much joy. Every little achievement that he made at school is as remarkable as setting a foot on the moon. In my six years of parenthood, I’m moved by every small change in him as he grows.
But of course, there were also times when he misbehaved and made me upset. I’ve found gentle discipline approaches to keep peace, connection and respect for all of us. Nonetheless, all these will become precious memories in time to come.
Over the years, I’ve also learnt to be gentler with myself on times when I don’t do it ‘right’, and instead see these moments as learning opportunities for improvement, rather than failures that churn up to maternal inadequacies and guilt.
It’s truly an inner journey for me that have walked many miles, at varying paces and directions. I’ve swapped a lot of personal time to get more organised in order to have our days flowing with greater ease. At this point, family life, career, motherhood and personal life are in a balance. I’m embracing every moment of it.
Last but not least, I’d like to say that having children brings a sense of contentment that cannot be fulfilled by career advancement, wealth or stability alone.
Thanks to Little Edison, our lives are now more complete, meaningful and fulfilling!
Singapore may be the few countries in the world who is throwing money at its citizens to encourage them to have babies. If we compare ourselves to similar countries with low birth rates like South Korea and Hong Kong, we’re very fortunate to have a government who is continuously looking at this issue and offering helps to families.
